This story is so funny and so well written, I just had to share…


When I was in the second grade, my teacher devised a terrible way of getting us to pay attention.  It was called “The Jelly Bean Monster.”

I should say this: While I like to think Ms. F. went on to play Cruella de Vil on Broadway, she was not an evil woman.  I truly believe she saved The Jelly Bean Monster for times of genuine classroom anarchy–times when a lesser woman would have stuffed her head into the nearest backpack and cried.

In any event, The Jelly Bean Monster became her claim to fame.

This was ironic, because for a second grade teacher she couldn’t draw worth crap.

It didn’t matter.  She slapped that Monster up on the blackboard and assigned each of us a misshapen jelly bean.

And she moved our jelly beans closer to The Monster’s mouth when we misbehaved.

That was basically all she had to do…

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